Son and Mum have a thing going on…

I took him to see my Ma last weekend.

We took a bus and then a train to Beaconsfield (it was a long journey but Sonny was so good the whole way.) I showed him a picture of my mum on my phone to show him who we were going to see.

Mum picked us up from the station, and Sonny clambered into the car and gave her a kiss.

We went to Beaconsfield Miniature Village. Pretty much the coolest place I have been too ever. Houses, churches, trains, little people, a fun fair, rivers, everything. Sonny walked around holding my mum’s hand. He absolutely LOVED the trains (they moved around on the tracks). He would say, ‘look! A train!’ and then flap his hands on his leg while he watched it drive along.

I tried to tell him it was lunch time, and we walked away, but he said, ‘no.’ and ran back to the village part to watch the trains again. It is unheard of for him to turn down food.

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Last year Sonny met my mum and when we said goodbye he burst into tears, and found it really hard to calm down. Mum and I had planned not to say bye so he wouldn’t get upset this time.

This plan did not work. Total failure.

We got out the car and mum drove away and Sonny could not stop crying. He was saying, ‘Mel’s mum, bye’ and then sobbing. I don’t know if he was sad because he thought I would be sad, or if he was sad because he loves seeing her. No idea. He eventually calmed down, and I thought not much more of it.

Yesterday I saw Son again. I took him to soft play (he even asked for the right bus. Genius. He said, ‘326 to soft play please’ so off we went. On the way back though He started crying and really upset again. I couldn’t work out why. Then he said, ‘I want train please’ and kept asking for it. I was very confused. I kept telling him it was home time, but that just made him cry even more. THEN HE SAID, ‘I want Mel’s mum’ and I welled up because that is SO CLEVER and also because I was a little bit jealous that he loves my mum so much. But mostly because I was proud.

The fact he remembered it, and the fact that he could tell me what he wanted and the fact that he effectively shows that he cares about someone else.

Some might say it’s a fairly minor victory in the grand scheme of things, but to me, for Sonny, it is ground breaking.

He Loves Me!

Yesterday was boxing day and Sonny and I spent it at his house, as his parents were very brave and hit the sales!

His parents came back home with a MacDonalds and a fruit shoot for him, and we were just sitting on the sofa, and randomly he leant over and put the fruit shoot in my mouth to drink.  I know it doesn’t sound ground breaking or anything, but it shows he can help others, without any personal gain. Sharing can be difficult for any child,  so for him to share his drink (and he LOVES fruit shoots) was fan-bloody-tastic.

And also the other day Sonny and I were on the way home from somewhere, and he did something else that showed me he could express love and kindness for another. He often covers his ears up with his hands as he is quite sensitive to noise (this is quite common in children with autism) and we were waiting for a tube. As the tube came into the platform, he got my hands with his and put them over my ears and said ‘eaassh’ So in a small way he was trying to look after me by telling me to cover my ears when the tube came past. Sonny was showing empathy and love, but not for any personal gain, not in return for anything, but just because.

He does understand the whole ‘You scratch my back I scratch yours’ concept. He often will swap you a toy in order to get the one he wants from you, or he will kiss me when he wants something, but these two random acts of kindness were different. They were totally unprompted and had no personal gain for him and that is massive progress for Sonny. I understand that sharing his drink and covering my ears doesn’t sound like a big deal to some, but it made me SO HAPPY to see him care for someone else (future husband, take note.)

So basically what I am trying to say is that the most important thing is the relationship and bond we have with a child. Taking him out to lots of different places is great for his education and speech development etc, but by showing him unconditional love he has started to show compassion and selflessness for other people, which can sometimes be difficult even for us non autistic adult folk.

In the spirit of love, here is a video of me singing to Sonny, (you may want to turn the volume down for this one.)

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My favourite Christmas present this year was my new t-shirt from Sonny’s parents, they bought it for me so I could wear it when I run the marathon for the National Autistic Society. Click here to see my JustGiving page!